The lonely world never cares,
It never sees through the dark.
Divided from happiness,
Sealed a smile so away from home.
A soft veil was gently embracing the 19 year old.
It was warm.
It was so comfortable.
Like the hug from a mother.
His eyes were closed as he let himself relax in the unknown material underneath him, gave a soft sigh in content as he snuggled closer to the softness.
It was so... peaceful. Something that he hadn't felt in a long while.
Wait, hadn't he just fought Arima and meet his former self?
He was dead.
He- he died, right?
His body stiffed at the thought. Kaneki remembered the literally piercing pain that shot through his skull and buried his face in the, what it seemed to be, pillow. And a comfy one as well.
His body felt healthy. No pain was aching though his body as he shifted slightly to find a more comfortable position.
He heard how the door of the room gentle opened and closed again and steps came closer to his bed.
Feeling how the mattress sank a little away from him, he pretended to sleep.
“To-san-” Was the voice talking to him?
“Tooo-san.” The voice spoke in a tender and playful way, probably trying to wake him up as gently as possible.
“Mattaku. And everyone says that I'm lazy”, he heard the person say again and felt how his shoulder was grabbed and got shaken slightly.
“I know that you're awake, To-san! I made breakfast for us so you don't need to hurry today! You can eat it and then go relaxed to work.”
Breakfast? Father? He didn't understand a single thing. But he complied anyway, raised his had slightly from the cushion and looked up with half-lidded, dark grey eyes.
He saw a person around the age of 16 sitting in on the mattress in front of him, the face having that features strongly resembled his own along with the small smile that graced the teenagers lips.
You continued to smile at your father's sleepy state.
“Ohayo! Like I said, I made breakfast! Make yourself ready, I'll wait for you in the kitchen.”
With that you stood up after sending with a tiny grin and walked out of the room again.
The light may be blue,
But my heart's with you.
Is it true, oh is it true?
Is this where I belong?
Kaneki couldn't quite proceed what was going on. He himself was only 19, so why was a 16 year old calling him father?
And where the heck was he exactly?
Pushing himself up by his arms, he sat up and a turned himself so that his knee pits hit the end of the bed.
He let his eyes travel through the room. Light walls, dark, wooden floor, a large bed that he seemed to own, two nightstands on each side of it with a lamp and a book on top the surface of thw right one and a large shelf filled with other, various books; the colour of the furniture were all nice and fitting.
Not to flashy nor to plain. Just like his taste.
With a sigh, he once again pushed himself up and walked over to the other door in the room. He assumed it to be the bathroom, so he could as well wash his face and hands, maybe even take a shower. He looked down as his bare feet hit the slightly chilly floor, causing a shudder to run down his spine, and saw that his legs were covered with long pyjama pants.
He opened the dark brown door lazily and tiptoed allover the cold bathroom floor, trying his best to stay away and keep his own feet and body warm.
Placing his arms on the edge of the sink, he turned on the water so it was neither too cold nor too hot. Luke warm it is.
Collecting some in slightly cupped hands, he splashed a great amount of it into his face and repeated this a few time before he rubbed his face lightly to get rid of the sleepiness.
Suddenly his fingers brushed over... stubbles?
Looking up to the mirror, his grey eyes met those from a middle aged man with messy, black hair with a slight edgy face and stubbles gracing his cheek, chin and jaw area.
He probably haven't shaved himself in a while.
He touched his face stunned, watching how the reflection was copying his movements.
His eyes fell onto his fingernails and noticed that those weren't black anymore.
That... was him?
“To-san! The food'll get cold!”, he heard you yell faintly as he gave a last look into the mirror, tried to fix his messy hair and made his way to the kitchen.
Why was he looking this way?
He was 19 for fuck's sake!
Why was his hair black and not white anymore?
It was still messy and choppy as it had been in the white state.
He sighed deeply.
What was this madness, he didn't get it.
Kaneki slowly entered the kitchen and saw how you were placing two cups on the table next to each other before sitting down.
Your ear picked up the sounds of the door opening and closing again, so you perked up and saw your dad standing there, not really knowing what to do.
“What are you waiting for? The food is still warm, let's dig in before uncle Hide comes to pick you up for work”, you told him and waited patiently for your father to sit down. And since you were hungry as hell you wanted him to be faster.
The black haired male eyed nervously the breakfast that you had made.
It was normal human food. Steaming hot, it was placed there on the table and made his mouth watery.
When was the last time he has been able to enjoy human food without to vomit?
“Hurry up, I'm hungry!”
He snapped out his daze and saw you scowl slightly at him for being so slow.
“A-Ah, right, gomene”, he apologised with a small smile and rubbed the back of his head as he pulled out the chair and sat down on at the opposite side of the table.
Having the chopsticks already in your hands, you clapped your hands together, Kaneki hurriedly after you with doing the same and you both murmured an 'Itadakimasu' in sync.
You immediately dug in while Kaneki sat there, unsure what to do next.
He can't simply refuse a breakfast that his own 'child' had made for him, so he did what every good father would do: Eat the food no matter what.
Ken picked up an eggroll with his chopsticks and moved it shakily to his lips. He hesitantly sniffed at it.
The scent was mild and nice, so he took a bite of it.
A delicate sensation coated his taste buds as he started to chew instead of just pretending to.
He couldn't believe it.
Finally after such a long time, after such a freaking long time he was able to eat normal food again.
He quickly dug in and eat even faster then you, still trying his best not to choke on it.
Seeing this, you raised an eyebrow.
“Oi, oi! You'll choke if you eat so fast”, you scolded your father as you took a sip of your hot drink.
He blushed slightly in embarrassment and gave a sheepish smile, his eyes went shyly to the ground.
He apologised quietly in which you nodded with a slight grin and continued to eat.
While eating, Kaneki's mind drifted over to different things.
'S-Shouldn't I thank him/her for making me breakfast. But what's his/her name? Geh. This is so frustrating!', he ranted inwardly as he took a sip of his white, sugary coffee and sighed in content.
This was pure heaven.
He tensed as a name slipped out of his lips and saw how you rose your head to look at him.
Kaneki had no clue how he knew your name, his mouth just moved on its own!
Beside that, he had always thought about naming his child [Name].
“T–Thanks for the food”, he mumbled, his voice wavered from louder and quieter with every word as he glanced awkwardly from the side and you to and fro.
“Eh, you're welcome! You're always working so much and tired when you come home so I thought that I should at least repay you with some breakfast”, you said nonchalantly and stole the last eggroll that your father was about to eat.
“H–Hey!”, he protested loudly and made a grab motion with his chopsticks after your own, which moved to your mouth before plopping the food into it.
“'ou're tho shlow”, you said as you chewed and suddenly got hit by a crumpled napkin in the face.
“No talking with your mouth full”, he told you as he threw it at you with his best strict voice and ended up giggling quietly into his loosely balled fist.
He heard you protest loudly before you ended up laughing along with him.
Somehow this here felt so right.
The only world I never knew,
It was never one like this.
To drive out happiness,
I never knew life as it is.
Now life is blue,
But now my heart's with you.
This is true, this is where my heart truly belongs.
After breakfast you decided to clean the dishes, and by cleaning dishes you just filled the sink with warm water and dish detergent and let them soak there.
Meanwhile Kaneki had taken a shower and shaved himself, done his hair so it wouldn't be too messy and got dressed for work.
Apparently he was working in a high company since his dress suit looked not like a cheap one but he had his problems with the tie, so he just loosely tied it, not really knowing how to do so and walked out of the room again.
As he entered the living room, he saw you in front of the TV, already in your school uniform, watching some show that he had no idea what it could be.
Hearing him enter, you directed your gaze to him as you looked over your shoulder and saw him still fiddle with the tie.
You gave a frustrated sigh as you stood up and fixed the accessory for him.
“I swear, I know that ka-san isn't around anymore but I can't always tie your ties for you”, you complained playfully and moved your fingers smoothly as his body tensed at the 'not around anymore' part.
So 'his' wife was dead?
“Done.” He was snapped out of his thoughts and looked at his now neatly tied tie.
Kaneki gave a small smile and instinctively went down, pressed his lips lightly against your forehead after pushing the bangs away.
You flailed with your arms before pushing him slightly away by his shoulders.
“Geez, I'm not a kid anymore!”, you complained this time for real and the black haired male flushed bright red, embarrassed by his own actions.
H–He didn't mean to!
His body moved on its own, he swore!
“You don't need to try to fill both roles, to-san”, you sighed heavily with closed eyes and pressed the suit case of his into his pale hands. “I only need a father and that's it. Now go go, your coworker is waiting for ya.”
You pushed him out of the apartment after he slipped into his shoes with you following suit, the schoolbag loosely swung over your shoulder and made your way down to the main entrance.
While doing so, you chatted, mainly you, about random topics, considering Ken asking about your current school life.
“Oh, yeah. Kirishima is going to meet me at the front so we can walk to school together”, you told him and he gave you a puzzled look.
“Yeah, Ki-ri-shi-ma. Kirishima Touka-san's son, Taro”, you explained him with a confused expression on your face before smirking at him in a smug way. “Geez, to-san. You really start to get old.”
“I–I'm not old!”, he stuttered, not believing that his own child could be so...
“I'm–...”, he was about to tell you that he was only 19 but you would only make fun of him and he didn't know his current age, too!
“I know, I know. 'In prime of the life'”, you grinned as you both had finally reached the entrance door and already saw a waving Hide standing by his car, greeting you both with a cheery Good morning!
“Oi, Kaneki”, spoke a blunt voice from the left and you turned your body towards the source of the sound.
Standing there was a male teenager with choppy black hair and dark blue eyes, on hand found its place in one of his pocket of the school dress pants and the other one grasping the straps of his school bag that was slung over his shoulder.
“Oi, Kirishima”, you gave a short wave and walked over to your friend not before whispering to your father that he should go for Hide, who blushed in return and yelled your name in a whisper with bright red cheeks, not understanding how his own child could come up with such thoughts.
You gave him a thumbs up with both of your hands as your schoolbag was pressed between your legs and Taro, who was standing close behind you, shrugged and did the same, the blank facial features never changing.
“I'm just teasing you, y'know. See ya later, to-san! Don't overwork yourself so much!”, you waved one last time and jogged after the dark haired male who already began to walk.
“Your face is red! Are you sick again, Ken? I swear, don't you dare to pull of that stunt from last time!”, Hideyoshi, who poked his best friend's cheek, fumed slightly at thought where Kaneki once went to work during a high fever.
“I–I'm alright, Hid– N–Nagachika”, he told him, stumbled over the first name of the male who slapped his back while giving a hearty laugh.
“What's with you still being uneasy with calling me by my name?”, he chuckled loudly and Kaneki just sighed with a small smile.
Maybe everything had been just a bad dream after all.
Can you hear the melody?
Sing a song 'til you found my heart.
In a sweet song lullaby,
When I look into your eyes.
After a long day at work under the constant blabbering of Hide and the cocky attitude of Nishiki, whom, he had found out later, was worked there as well, he was finally at home again only to find you with paper bags that were filled with burgers in the living room, watching random anime that looked like a baseball one.
He entered the living room and greeted you with a smile as you did so as well and saw you pat the space beside you.
Kaneki complied, sat down beside you and got a paper bag shoved into his face.
“Here, I was too lazy to cook and we hadn't had any in ages!”
He gave a soundless chuckle, grabbed one of the burgers and moved his legs so he was sitting there cross-legged, kind of here in the pants he wore but he managed it.
He saw you watch the anime intensely and began to drown in his own thoughts.
Has been the ghoul thing really only a nightmare?
This place here felt so right, so perfect.
Maybe too perfect?
“Mh?”, you hummed as a respond after hearing your father say your name in a low voice.
“This here... is not real, right?”
The room filled with a heavy silence.
After a few minutes he heard you murmur with closed eyes, probably trying to think of something.
“Well, how can I say this…”, you started, eyes still closed as you took a deep breath.
“People say that every individual has their very own heaven”, you continued and opened your eyes only to see the troubled expression on your father's face.
You hurriedly added: “-which does not mean that I'm and the others are not real. I really am your child!”
But it made somehow sense. Working with the others together, even those who were actually ghoul were humans that he could enjoy meals together with, you as his child.
He had always wished for a small family. Nothing big, one child was enough, that's what he had always thought.
Having you was enough for him, his own flesh and blood, and hearing that you were actually somewhat existing made him utterly happy.
The surroundings suddenly grew brighter, leaving you both in an open, white area with nothing but you two in it.
You hugged your father tight, surprising him with your boldness and after getting over the small shock he wrapped his arms around your form as well.
“We won't see each other again so soon”, he heard you mutter into his shoulder before lifting your head and looking at him with a grin.
“The next time we see each other will be in the real world, yeah?”
With every word your voice grew more and more silent until your lips were only moving without making a sound.
They formed various words. The only ones the he was able to make out were: Don't give up.
His own eyes grew heavy as he gave a weak smile, his muscle suddenly feeling so sore and the limps so heavy like lead.
He didn't hear but still understood so well.
Don't give up?
Maybe you'll never understand,
What you truly meant to me.
You make me hope,
When I truly hear my voice.
The only sound that echoed through the dark underground were the dripping of blood. One drop of another fell from the other's Quinque and hit the ground, resonating the sound through the whole empty area.
In the middle of the bloody mess was lying a young male, the body itself surrounded by a large pool of blood, the head pierced through the eye sockets.
That man was Kaneki Ken. His once so shiny, white hair dirtied, the clothes torn, the body destroyed.
That man was Kaneki Ken. Once so lively, once so strong.
Now unable to move, unable to go on;
unable to hear a sound.
Can you hear my voice?